Do You Like Who You're Becoming?

 "Change is the only constant in life" - a very famous philosopher (Greek, if I'm not mistaken)

I think this philosopher was going somewhere with this. He/She is right. Change happens all around us, all the time. Weather, culture, job, relationship... even we change! Our worldview changes, hobbies, partners, and even our bodies. 

As we are at the half-year mark of 2021 (I know. I can't believe it either), I can't help but wonder what I've achieved for the past 6 months and what I would like to accomplish before the year ends. Sometimes, it is helpful to stop and evaluate and see which direction we are heading. And so, with that in mind, I have a question for you today (and for myself too, if I'm being completely honest) :

Do you like the person you are becoming? 

Because there are 3 possible outcomes to change:

1) it is getting better

2) it is getting worse

3) or the change is neutral 

So, we are either becoming more like the people we want to be, or less. Because if we are moving further and further from the person we want to be, it is wise to notice that as soon as possible so that some corrections can be made.

Of course, this isn't always an easy question to answer. In most cases, it's not as simple as a "yes" or "no". We may look at our trajectory and be proud of some of the changes, but regret others. There's always going to be pros and cons. 

*We may be excelling at work but becoming more demanding and less kind along the way. 

*We may be losing weight but becoming more proud and vain on appearances.

When put in such scenario, when it comes down to the heart of the matter, do I like the person I am becoming? 

I have been reflecting lately, and here's what I have learned: 

1) If you are not happy with the person you are becoming, you can always change. NOBODY can ever take away your right to change. Positive change is ALWAYS possible because YOU are the only person who gets to decide who you are going to become. 

2) It is never too late to change. Sure, the best time for a positive change may have been yesterday or ten years ago, but the second best time is right now. If you're still living, you've got time to change. No matter how much time we have left, we can always set an example. 

3) People are remembered most for who they were, not what they accomplished. If the accomplishment you are trying to pursue is resulting in negative changes, remind yourself that who you are is more important. The people who know you best will always remember you for your values and character more than your personal achievements. 

So, with that said, may we all be changing for the better. 

My Life... 6 Months Ago

When you're a blogger or a writer, sometimes you'll have moments when an idea hits you hard on the head like a brick. Today was one of those days for me. I feel like I haven't been personal with you guys lately. So today, I take this opportunity to share with you what my life looked like in the past 6 months.


*I am writing this to share my experience and not to get sympathy or anything from what I had to go through for the past couple of months. I just feel like today is the day I get a little personal. After all, my blog is my baby and I've been wanting to get personal for quite some time now. So, if this is your thing, you can keep on reading. Otherwise, I'm sorry*

September 2016 - The worst month of my life (for as long as I can remember)

• I went for an audition and interview for a job and I wasn't sure if I would get it 
• I was waiting (4 months, to be exact) for my phD application to go through
• Ended a turbulent and rocky long distance relationship
• Was jobless, hopeless, going out for drinks almost every night (thank you Eunice for always being there for me. Sorry you had to see me cry and hyperventilate. Much appreciated. I love you)
• Was crying almost every night because I felt lost as fuck

October 2016 - The toughest month of my life (I've had a fair share of tough months and this was one of them)

• Still jobless and clueless on what my path looks like. Was just hoping everyday to get a reply so I can start my life in a new place
• Had an interview with my phD professors only to find out that they rejected my application and proposal which I prepared so hard for
• Still drinking almost every night to calm myself. As much as I didn't want to worry my parents, I couldn't help myself. Crying every night didn't help much
• Highly intoxicated and started my day at 1 pm everyday
• Started giving up on life and everything in it

November 2016 - What was supposed to be my favourite month turned out to be the most confusing month

• Spent a brief moment in the UK
• After flying alone for 18 hours, I wasn't even sure if I wanted to live anymore. I had lost all hope. I was in complete darkness
• After the "brief" moment in the UK, I came back to Malaysia and 12 hours later, I received a call saying I've got the job which I interviewed and auditioned for back in August
• Rekindled with what was supposed to be a failed love story
• Still felt lost and confused because everything seems like a blur 

December 2016 - When things started to make a bit more sense to me

• I started this new "job". Truth is, I didn't even care what the job was or how much it paid. I just wanted a new life - meaning a new place, a new city, a new job, with new people - starting completely from scratch
• My work "family" welcomed me and I started to see what it was like working in this industry
• Met some nice people and forever grateful for it
• Spent my first Christmas in this new city (with a warmer climate, finally)

January 2017 - A new start

• Adapting is never an easy task, especially when you're trying to start a new life
• Figuring out your future is never easy but sometimes, you just have to
• I still can't picture myself in this job but this is what I asked for. I wanted a change and I got it

February 2017 - A month of learning

• Learned to live on my own in this new city without anyone
• Attended a TV hosting course which I never in my entire life thought I'd ever have the chance to do. Learned the ways of TV hosting and other new things
• Met some nice people who would actually help me with publishing my "novel" and the "book" I'm writing
• Learned to be an independent woman (Destiny's Child ain't got nothing on me)
• Got to participate in various events which I never thought I'd be brave enough to attend

What exactly is the point of me sharing this post with you? 

I want you to know that hard times and tough times don't last forever. I lost all hope for almost 3 months and started to pick up the pieces afterwards. I was crying for almost 2 months and manage to smile after everything. Everyone has problems and tough moments of their own. Be strong and face it. Keep working hard, don't give up even though it feels like giving up is the only option you have at that moment.

I'm not here to tell you life is easy or life is hard. I'm here to tell you that you're a human being and you'll face ups and downs. Sometimes, your downs may take longer than others but nothing lasts forever. Take it from me - a girl who lost everything 6 months ago, to a girl who is starting over and getting a new life.

No matter what you're facing right now, you can do it. Take a look at your life 6 months ago and take a look at where you are now. If you're happy with your progress, I have nothing but happiness for you. If you're unhappy with where you are or your progress, do something about it. I'm with you all the way.

HITTING QUARTER LIFE CRISIS

"It is perfectly okay and normal to not have your shit together at 25." - Anonymous 

I feel like there are 2 types of people in this world: People who know what they're going to be doing for the rest of their lives once they hit 20, and people who haven't got a single clue about what they want in life when they hit 20.

Good afternoon all you lovely readers


Today's post is going to be about my current life situation. As for the above statement, I feel like I'm the latter one. I've always been the type of person who wants to try as many things as I can as possible. Even at my teenage years, I've always had crazy ideas and wild imaginations about everything around me. Up till today, right this very second, I still have crazy imaginations and interesting ideas. To have a creative mind is a good thing, but I guess the downside to that is that all these imaginations and thoughts will make you question everything in life.

I will be hitting 25 next month and for some reason, it doesn't scare me at all. The only thing that scares me is that I haven't got enough time to do half of the things I've wanted to do before I hit 30. That is probably one of the scariest things ever. But I'm here today to share a few of my thoughts with you and to let you know that you are not alone :)

1. Two Minds

I'm at a phase in life where I just want to go out and explore the world, try new things, have that occasional drink at a pub or a friend's party, and be a complete nutter around close friends. However, I absolutely do not mind staying at home everyday, sitting on the couch with a good book or doing absolutely nothing at all but drink tea and chill.

2. Friends Come and Go

There's a reason why this saying was invented. And after learning it the hard way for multiple times, I've finally come to terms with it. Some people stay, some people go. You will lose old friends and gain new ones. And that's just life. Deal with it. I'm at a certain stage in life where I keep my circle of friends really small. I'm glad to have these people in my life who support and encourage me in everything I do. A few good friends is better than thousands of fake friends. Keep that in mind.

3. People Change..... You Change

Over the years, I've noticed something about myself. Physically, I've changed. But mentally too. All the dreams that I had when I was younger - dreams of becoming a princess (go on, laugh all you want) and all those other crazy, funny dreams and imaginations - they've all changed. But now is also the time to make your dreams happen. And that is what I'm going to start doing. Change. Be a better version of myself. Go after my dreams. Because even though dreams and interests change, that does not mean you can't pursue them.



Let me know if you can relate to this? X

7 DRESSES FOR THE WEEK

So, back in May, I created my very own "Summer Bucket List" and the very first thing on the list was for me to wear more dresses.

People who are friends with me would know that I'm more of a shorts and tees or skinny jeans and baggy tees kind of girl. I mean, gotta love my tees :D 

Good evening my lovelies

As I've mentioned in my previous post, I've got a few exciting things up my sleeves. And wearing dresses for 7 days was one of my - shall we say - challenge. Yes, ever since last week, I've been wearing dresses continuously for 7 days. And honestly, I couldn't be more proud of myself.

A weird thing to be proud of, but I just get very excited when every small changes I make or every little challenges I set myself have been achieved.

I'm starting to actually like dresses now. I think they really soothes the eyes. I mean, whenever I see other girls rocking nice dresses, I always get inspired or I gaze at them like a little weirdo that I am. But I do see the point of dresses now. 

So, I'm just going to share with you the 7 dresses that I wore for the past 7 days :D 

DAY 1: Ditsy 

DAY 2: Flower Prints

DAY 3: Camouflage 

DAY 4: Orange - my new fav!

DAY 5: Relaxed

DAY 6: Graffiti 

DAY 7: Loving Green a little too much 

Since it's summer all year round here, might as well make the most out of dresses.

After all, it's never too late for sundresses :) 

X

Everything Will Change

..... whether you like it or not.

- This post is inspired by recent events -

Good evening my lovely readers.

First of all, is it me or is time passing quicker and quicker by the minute? I mean, can someone please just tell me where June has gone? Like OMG! This time last month, I was enjoying my time in Bali - walking on the sandy beach, getting sunburnt, having nice conversations with my boyfriend by the hotel pool, exploring new places. It literally feels like everything just happened yesterday.

Sometimes, the only thing I fear is time. I think the only thing I could FEAR and NEED at the same time is time itself. I fear closing my eyes one night and waking up the next day to see a 70-year-old grandma in the mirror. Yes, I'm referring to myself as the 70-year-old grandma. I mean, it still feels like yesterday that I've just graduated.

And then, in a blink of an eye........ everything has changed! 

I know I talk about time a lot but it's just because everything is happening too extremely fast! Even right at this very moment, I thought time would pass slowly because I'm not doing anything fun or challenging, but turns out time is still passing like a freakin' rocket everyday. The saying "time passes quickly when you're having fun" is false. Time passes just as quickly when you're not having fun. I guess it just depends on how a person sees the world and looks at things. 

With time, everything will change. 

I've been back in my hometown for over a week now and I've been catching up with some people who are close to me.

My cousin - whom I never got a chance to hang out with before we both started college and who happens to live right around the neighbourhood - completed her degree when I was in the UK and she's already been back here for 2 years. Like what the hell?! How has it been 2 years?! It doesn't even feel like I've been gone for that long!

My neighbour - whom I never got a chance to see ever since I turned 12 - is currently studying to be a doctor in Melbourne University. And since when did she turn 20?!?!??! The only memory I have of her was when we were literally 7-year-old kids playing on the field outside our houses. I'm turning 25 this year and she's turning 21 which means I haven't actually seen her in 12 years!

Everything seems different yet same somehow. My hometown hasn't changed much. I guess the only thing I'd say that has really changed for the past 3 years is that there are loads of new places to eat and hang out. Other than that, it's pretty much the same - the people, the food, the lifestyle. 

I guess, in a way, I am the one who's changed. I used to care so much about what people think about me - my size, skin colour, the spots on my face, how old I actually look. And I just get so paranoid over any of those things. But this time round, I couldn't give 2 shits about what people think of me or what they're saying behind me or in front of me.

"You become your environment" -

- is what my wise manager in UK taught me. If you surround yourself with idiots or negativity, you're no better than any of them. If you surround yourself with good people, you get good vibes from your surroundings. If you hang out with certain people for too long, you become like them or vice versa. I mean, I should know this because I am becoming more and more like my boyfriend (thanks Trev). I've changed my mindset over the past few years. I've decided not to live for the opinions of other people. I've decided to enjoy my life as best I can. I've decided that I only want good and positive vibes and people in my life. I've decided to be happy.

Change is part of life.

I guess what I'm really trying to say here is that everything will change eventually whether you like it or not - for better or for worse - because time changes everything and everyone. I will always fight to be a better version of myself and if that means changing for the better, I'm willing to take the chance to change :D

P/S: Apologies for the hiatus :( 

But thank you for reading X