Thursday, 21 June 2018

The Sad Truth About Adulting: Friends

Adulting. Is that even a word? 

I'm pretty sure someone somewhere created that word.

But the thing is, we can all relate to that word and the meaning behind it, so yes, I think that is a word which has yet to be included in the Oxford Dictionary.

2 weeks ago, one of my very good friends said something to me which hit me really hard. Now, this friend. Well, we practically grew up together. I would say I've known her since I was about 6 or 7. We have always been close until I turned 20. She furthered her studies and I went to the UK after that. We had an argument which I can't even remember now and decided not to speak to each other anymore. That is until last year, when I came back from UK and moved to Kuala Lumpur. So, that's about 6 years of not talking to each other.

Last July, I met her at an event and I was actually quite nervous. I didn't know whether she would feel the awkwardness between us or whether there's any bad blood or tension between the both of us. To my surprise, she came over and gave me a hug and of course, I hugged back because I really did miss her. Throughout those 6 years of not speaking, I honestly thought I'd lost her as a friend forever.

We meet regularly on Sundays for church. That is unless I have somewhere to be or if I have work or if I'm on vacation. We went out a few times last December and just 2 or 3 times this year. It is now June. And 2 weeks ago, she said to me "Wow. It's been almost a year since we started talking to each other again but we've only gone out for about 5 times. What's up with that? Is this it? Our friendship?"

That actually hit me really hard because I've known her for such a long time and we've been through so much together yet she's right. We haven't hung out often since last July.

Here's my sad truth: 

I absolutely love her to bits and I miss our times together. I wish everything could go back to when I was 15 but sadly, that can't be done.

I want to hang out with her more but work gets in the way. And it absolutely sucks because I have to choose between friendship and work. I know a lot of people go through this. And when it comes to weekends, all you want to do is spend some time alone - catching up on Netflix, reading, going on trips. And when it's week nights, I do want to hang out with her but I have other clients to attend to. So, where does that leave me?

I know I need to organize my time better and sort out my priorities and what matters most to me. But I do know that I need to make more time for friends.

Adulting is no easy task. You hardly see your friends because of work or other activities. Things you used to do when you were younger are abandoned. Life gets in the way. But if your friends understand, then you'll have no problem at all. Lucky for me, she understands. And I'm thankful for that.

I still feel bad but I've decided to clear my schedule to go out with her more often. Until then, ciao.

Do you guys have this problem? What do you do about it? Let me know

Tuesday, 19 June 2018


On the 7th of May (last month), I made a conscious decision to cut back on coffee. Here something you should know about me. I need at least 4 cups of black coffee a day to function. On good days, probably just 3. On bad days, 5 or more. I realized that this was becoming an addiction and I needed to do something about it before I get completely hooked. 

I knew it was going to be difficult because they say it takes 21 days or more to get rid of a bad habit. But just like the clothes challenge I set myself at the beginning of the year, I knew I could do it. So, here's my journey. 

1st week (7 days) 

1) I felt uneasy the first few days, like something was missing. Like a part of me was missing. Friends around me were drinking coffee and the smell was just like a perfume I was addicted to, which made it even more difficult for me to resist. 

2) I felt tired most days because I kept telling myself that I haven't ingested any coffee. 

3) There were so many times when I just wanted to take ONE sip of coffee. 

2nd week (14 days)

1) I thought it would be easier the 2nd week but I was so wrong. It was so so difficult. 

2) Some nights, I would cry for no reason and ask myself is all of this worth it? What is the purpose of me doing this? Some ridiculous thoughts would just appear out of no where (which, I think is completely normal when you're trying to give up something).

3) My mood was all over the place. I snapped at people over trivial things and my tolerance level towards people deteriorated. 

3rd week (21 days) 

1) I started to focus all of my "coffee thoughts" on swimming, which is good because I've been meaning to start doing some form of exercise since the beginning of the year. 

2) The scent of coffee became bearable although it still sucked when I had to order diet Coke or water instead of black coffee in Starbucks or restaurants. 

3) I always drink coffee when I travel but when I was in Lombok recently with my uncle, I felt like I did not really need it. 

4th week (What I've Learned)

1) "Coffee thoughts" don't pop up everyday anymore. 

2) I could still function and live my day without coffee. 

3) My productivity is as good as when I have coffee. 

4) A lot of the times, we think we NEED coffee but that's not necessarily the case. 

5) I'm swimming and exercising more. 

6) Coffee is good but at a moderate amount. 

7) Coffee doesn't control my life. 

8) I saved some money from cutting coffee. 

9) My breath is not always smelling like a coffee machine anymore. 

10) Coffee actually helps with my digestive system and blood circulation.

1 hour ago (19th June), before writing this post, I've finally had my first cup of black coffee since the 7th of May. Yes, I've lasted that long but I do feel like coffee keeps me warm. I don't feel the urge or the need to drink anymore coffee today because I'm functioning perfectly fine. 

My friends, this was my experience and my journey. I hope this helps any of you who are trying to cut back on coffee or trying to cut coffee out of your life. It can be done :) 

Monday, 18 June 2018

4 Days in Lombok for RM1,000

Is it possible to enjoy such a magnificent place under a tight budget?


If you've already read my previous post, you would know that my uncle and I recently took a trip to Lombok, Indonesia. And the truth is, we both exchanged RM500 each for this trip and I came back with RM60 to spare. So, let me break it down for you.

Flight ticket: RM332

- return flight
- booked 3 weeks beforehand (AirAsia)

Accommodation: RM472 (RM236 per person)

- again, this was booked 3 weeks before the trip
- there are many types of accommodations in Lombok (AirBnB, luxury hotels, normal hotels, houses...) so it's just a matter of what kind of place you want to stay in throughout your vacation
- we booked a really amazing hotel called Kuta Baru Hotel through Agoda and the location was superb

Transportation: IDR770,000 (RM233/2 = RM116.50 per person) 

- we only took cabs to and from the airport and to some of the beaches we wanted to visit
- 70% of the times, we were on foot

Up till this point, the total is RM684.50

The rest of the money was spent on food, massage and a couple of souvenirs.

So, RM1,000 for 4 days in Lombok is totally do-able. You get the luxury side and the budget side too.

Hope this helps any of you who are planning a trip to Lombok and gives you a bit of idea on how much you can take with you.

Here's a video from the trip: LOMBOK ADVENTURES