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Tuesday, 2 July 2019

2019 so far...

I think I speak for a lot of people when I say this...

The first half of 2019 has definitely been better than the whole of 2018. 

Of course, I've gone through some rough patches over the past 6 months (I mean, who hasn't?) but I've become a much stronger person.

*Disclaimer: It's going to be a lengthy post, so if you don't have the time to read or if you're not interested, kindly press the "x" button on the top right of your screen or close the tab. 

I know in some of my previous posts, I said I wanted to share what I've been through and why I was feeling all those things at the time. Well, let me just "quickly" summarize it for all of you. It will explain why I stopped blogging, why I stopped sharing, and why I went MIA for a while.

Let's start from last year. I asked 4 of my closest friends at the start of the year what their New Year's Resolutions were. 1 said she wanted to quit her job and move to another city to start a new job. 2 said she wanted to start hosting shows on TV again. 3 said she wanted to quit her job and settle down. 4 said she wanted to try out a holiday working-visa thing overseas.

Last September (2018), 1 moved to another city to start her job, 2 started hosting TV shows again, 3 got married and moved to another country, 4 got her working-visa approved and went overseas. I basically lost 4 of my closest friends in one damn month. They all got what they wanted while I was stagnant, not moving, not going anywhere, not progressing. NOTHING! I was nothing! I felt like NOTHING! I was shit. I was worse than shit.

Last October (2018), 2 people whom I thought were my friends betrayed me. Both have their own issues. Both were not good for me or my health. Both were selfish. So, I made the decision to not spend too much time with them. So, in a span of 2 months, I had lost 6 people who were close to me. And I felt like my life was going no where. No motivation, no goals, constantly comparing myself to others, always thinking I'm not good enough, always thinking no one truly understands me... you name it. 

On the first day of January (2019), I decided to not let whatever happened last year affect what I want to do this year. Surely enough, I started picking myself back up with the help of some NEW friends and the help of my family members. Lots of talking, lots of seeing people for help, lots of meditating. 

My "new" life started in May. I've been trying new things, I've been seeing new things, I've been setting a new mindset for everything.

Last month (June 2019), I got to meet the 4 of my closest friends (yes, the ones I mentioned above) and I got to have some deep and meaningful conversations with them. 1 is getting used to the new life over there but she's doing really well. 2 is struggling a bit (I mean, seriously, who isn't struggling?) but she's doing really well too. 3 is now pregnant and doing well. 4 is on vacation right now and she's doing good. I really am proud of all my friends.

But you know what's funny? As they were telling me how their lives were, yes, I felt super proud of them but I would never want to trade anything. And I realized some things too.

1. I grew so much since last October
2. I have nothing to complain about. Sure, life throws me lemon once in a while but I make damn good lemonades 
3. I was wasting my time comparing myself to them and to whatever I thought success was at the time
4. I don't want to have the life that they have
5. I learned how to walk in my own lane 
6. All you need in your life is a few good and genuine people and you're set 
7. Your future is always brighter than your past 
8. Shit happens in life, move on 
9. If you've worked hard, remind yourself that and reward yourself 
10. Having deep and meaningful conversations is just as good as therapy
11. Nothing is ever as bad as it seems

So, if you're struggling right now, I promise you, I swear to you, it won't last. I was buried under 20 mega tonnes of shit last year and managed to get out of all that. So, just go through it because it will pass and you will be better. Just keep making amazing lemonades on the way and enjoy it.

And if ever you feel like comparing yourself to someone, compare the you right now to the you last year. You will see how far you've come. I promise you.

Here's to another adventurous, weird, fun, different, crazy, wild, challenging, _____ (insert whatever words you want) second half of the year! Cheers!

Thursday, 30 May 2019


Whenever it comes to Gawai celebration, most Sarawakians who celebrate this festival will normally look forward to 5 things.

1. The long holiday they get to take
2. Getting to reunite with family members and old friends
3. Various type of food to look forward to
4. People who are of age, DRINKING of course
5. Celebrating and forgetting the day and time for a few days

Each and every one of these points have their own factors. So, imagine this. We are happy about these 5 things. And in these 5 things, there are minor things to be happy about too. It's like a celebration on its own. Here's what I mean.

1. The long holiday Sarawakians get to take

Normally, students will have about 1 week off from school, that means parents do not have to wake up extra early to send their children to school and some working adults would even take a couple of extra days off to celebrate

2. Getting to reunite with family members and old friends

As mentioned, since it's holiday time, children get to hang out with their friends. Meanwhile, if families are travelling back to their hometown, they get to meet up with their cousins and other family members they rarely have the chance to see. Also, it's a celebration when most working adults come back to their hometown to visit their friends and family

3. Various type of food to look forward to

I've been to many places, but I have to say, my grandmother cooks the best bamboo chicken in the world. And whenever I can, I would always help her out with the dish when I visit. But as mentioned, different parts of the country have different types of food. It's always nice to go back and indulge in some lovely dishes you've been craving for over a few months.

4. People who are of age, DRINKING of course

Drinking is always a way to get the mood going whether you just want to unwind and talk your stress away to a friend or a family member. Not only that, some of the greatest moments are created when everyone lightens up and communicate. Nevertheless, it is always important to drink responsibly.

However, we are all aware of illicit alcohol - especially during festive celebrations. Sure, many would say "Why not? It's cheaper!" but when you wake up the next day with a massive headache that feels like you've just been hit in the head with a hammer, it's really not worth it. So, the next time you are getting some beer to enjoy, make sure what you're drinking is legit!

How do you identify a legit Heineken®, Tiger, Guinness, Anchor, Apple Fox Cider, or Strongbow? Check out this easy 4-step identification process by Heineken Malaysia Berhad:

So, this Gawai holiday, or hereon out, in fact, please drink responsibly, know what you're consuming for the sake of your health, okay?

HEINEKEN Malaysia, is even a part of the drive to promote responsible consumption through its brands, its platform Drink Sensibly and also in alliance with others.


*HEINEKEN Malaysia is also providing Grab vouchers worth RM10 during Gawai and Kaamatan in Sabah! Just use the Grab promo code DrinkSensibly to enjoy a RM10 discount on your Grab fare when travelling to and from your favourite party locations. The DrinkSensibly promo code is available for redemption in Sabah and Sarawak between 4pm to 4am until 2 June 2019.*

5. Celebrating and forgetting the day and time for a few days 

Of course, this mostly involves the working adults who are drinking. It is okay to celebrate till late night, heck, even late mornings, it is a holiday, after all, BUT remember to do it responsibly

Happy Kaamatan and Happy Gawai! x

Monday, 6 May 2019

Hello May

Holy shijmo! How are we already in the 5th month of 2019? Literally! 

I guess it's true what they say. Time flies when you're having fun. And that's exactly how I've been living. Having fun, living life on the edge, hustling, playing.

This morning at work, my co-worker asked me what my plan was for this month, and I said "April's gonna be fun". He looked confused because he also seemed to think it was April.

But I would rather be a "time flies" person than a "stuck in the sands of time" kind of person.

So much has happened within the past 4 months. My life really has been a roller coaster - challenging, rough, beautiful, amazing, beyond-what-I-would've-imagined.

First off, one thing I'm incredibly proud of, I've finally finished my first novel. And even if it's not going to be the best-seller, at least I know I've poured my heart and soul into it and that's the only thing that matters.

Second, I've experienced betrayal and heartbreak first-hand. Yes, obviously. I've ended a friendship. That's a long story for another day but basically, I'm just here to tell you that when someone says "I'll always be here for you", even if it's coming from a 50-year-old, always trust ACTIONS instead of words - unless of course if that person is one of your family members.

The friendship I've had with person has been amazing - a roller coaster ride would be an understatement. It's like you've known that person in a past life or something like that (if you believe in that kind of thing). But of course, I put my trust in the wrong person, thinking he is older and wiser, but that's really not the case. Do I regret knowing this person? Absolutely. Do I regret the experience? No. Because we were best friends at one point. He was someone I'd do almost anything for.

Again, I'm here to tell you that even though there are bad people in this world, people who mistreat you, you can always be the bigger person and let it go. Everything will be OK. Take it from me, someone who's literally been hurt over and over again by that same person.

Thirdly, I've had some of the most beautiful moments meeting people and giving talks. Definitely a shock when I was chosen to be one of the ambassadors for young women for a couple of programs. It definitely made me think about the choices I make and how I present myself to young women. I mean, no one wants someone who's constantly cussing to be an ambassador. So, I definitely took myself more seriously when it comes to influencing young people.

These are just some of the amazing things I've been through in the span of 4 months. But I finally took some time to reflect on my life over the weekend because I do feel like I've been more of a robot instead of a human being lately. So, here are the things I'm focusing on this month (which I've already started):

1) Relax and take a break 

2) Focus more on my health (both physically and mentally)

3) Read more (currently reading Chicken Soup for the Soul) 

4) Be wary of the people I let into my life

5) Spend more time with friends and family 

These are probably things that most people take for granted everyday. That's why I need to constantly remind myself what's important in life and what really makes me feel at peace.

So, I hope your month will be as beautiful as your soul :) 

P/S: Sorry for the hiatus x