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Tuesday, 7 March 2017

My Life... 6 Months Ago

When you're a blogger or a writer, sometimes you'll have moments when an idea hits you hard on the head like a brick. Today was one of those days for me. I feel like I haven't been personal with you guys lately. So today, I take this opportunity to share with you what my life looked like in the past 6 months.

*I am writing this to share my experience and not to get sympathy or anything from what I had to go through for the past couple of months. I just feel like today is the day I get a little personal. After all, my blog is my baby and I've been wanting to get personal for quite some time now. So, if this is your thing, you can keep on reading. Otherwise, I'm sorry*

September 2016 - The worst month of my life (for as long as I can remember)

  • I went for an audition and interview for a job and I wasn't sure if I would get it 
  • I was waiting (4 months, to be exact) for my phD application to go through
  • Ended a turbulent and rocky long distance relationship
  • Was jobless, hopeless, going out for drinks almost every night (thank you Eunice for always being there for me. Sorry you had to see me cry and hyperventilate. Much appreciated. I love you)
  • Was crying almost every night because I felt lost as fuck

October 2016 - The toughest month of my life (I've had a fair share of tough months and this was one of them)
  • Still jobless and clueless on what my path looks like. Was just hoping everyday to get a reply so I can start my life in a new place
  • Had an interview with my phD professors only to find out that they rejected my application and proposal which I prepared so hard for
  • Still drinking almost every night to calm myself. As much as I didn't want to worry my parents, I couldn't help myself. Crying every night didn't help much
  • Highly intoxicated and started my day at 1 pm everyday
  • Started giving up on life and everything in it

November 2016 - What was supposed to be my favourite month turned out to be the most confusing month
  • Spent a brief moment in the UK
  • After flying alone for 18 hours, I wasn't even sure if I wanted to live anymore. I had lost all hope. I was in complete darkness
  • After the "brief" moment in the UK, I came back to Malaysia and 12 hours later, I received a call saying I've got the job which I interviewed and auditioned for back in August
  • Rekindled with what was supposed to be a failed love story
  • Still felt lost and confused because everything seems like a blur 

December 2016 - When things started to make a bit more sense to me
  • I started this new "job". Truth is, I didn't even care what the job was or how much it paid. I just wanted a new life - meaning a new place, a new city, a new job, with new people - starting completely from scratch
  • My work "family" welcomed me and I started to see what it was like working in this industry
  • Met some nice people and forever grateful for it
  • Spent my first Christmas in this new city (with a warmer climate, finally)

January 2017 - A new start
  • Adapting is never an easy task, especially when you're trying to start a new life
  • Figuring out your future is never easy but sometimes, you just have to
  • I still can't picture myself in this job but this is what I asked for. I wanted a change and I got it

February 2017 - A month of learning
  • Learned to live on my own in this new city without anyone
  • Attended a TV hosting course which I never in my entire life thought I'd ever have the chance to do. Learned the ways of TV hosting and other new things
  • Met some nice people who would actually help me with publishing my "novel" and the "book" I'm writing
  • Learned to be an independent woman (Destiny's Child ain't got nothing on me)
  • Got to participate in various events which I never thought I'd be brave enough to attend

What exactly is the point of me sharing this post with you? 

I want you to know that hard times and tough times don't last forever. I lost all hope for almost 3 months and started to pick up the pieces afterwards. I was crying for almost 2 months and manage to smile after everything. Everyone has problems and tough moments of their own. Be strong and face it. Keep working hard, don't give up even though it feels like giving up is the only option you have at that moment.

I'm not here to tell you life is easy or life is hard. I'm here to tell you that you're a human being and you'll face ups and downs. Sometimes, your downs may take longer than others but nothing lasts forever. Take it from me - a girl who lost everything 6 months ago, to a girl who is starting over and getting a new life.

No matter what you're facing right now, you can do it. Take a look at your life 6 months ago and take a look at where you are now. If you're happy with your progress, I have nothing but happiness for you. If you're unhappy with where you are or your progress, do something about it. I'm with you all the way.

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