I'm pretty sure someone somewhere created that word.
But the thing is, we can all relate to that word and the meaning behind it, so yes, I think that is a word which has yet to be included in the Oxford Dictionary.
2 weeks ago, one of my very good friends said something to me which hit me really hard. Now, this friend. Well, we practically grew up together. I would say I've known her since I was about 6 or 7. We have always been close until I turned 20. She furthered her studies and I went to the UK after that. We had an argument which I can't even remember now and decided not to speak to each other anymore. That is until last year, when I came back from UK and moved to Kuala Lumpur. So, that's about 6 years of not talking to each other.
Last July, I met her at an event and I was actually quite nervous. I didn't know whether she would feel the awkwardness between us or whether there's any bad blood or tension between the both of us. To my surprise, she came over and gave me a hug and of course, I hugged back because I really did miss her. Throughout those 6 years of not speaking, I honestly thought I'd lost her as a friend forever.
We meet regularly on Sundays for church. That is unless I have somewhere to be or if I have work or if I'm on vacation. We went out a few times last December and just 2 or 3 times this year. It is now June. And 2 weeks ago, she said to me "Wow. It's been almost a year since we started talking to each other again but we've only gone out for about 5 times. What's up with that? Is this it? Our friendship?"
That actually hit me really hard because I've known her for such a long time and we've been through so much together yet she's right. We haven't hung out often since last July.
Here's my sad truth:
I absolutely love her to bits and I miss our times together. I wish everything could go back to when I was 15 but sadly, that can't be done.
I want to hang out with her more but work gets in the way. And it absolutely sucks because I have to choose between friendship and work. I know a lot of people go through this. And when it comes to weekends, all you want to do is spend some time alone - catching up on Netflix, reading, going on trips. And when it's week nights, I do want to hang out with her but I have other clients to attend to. So, where does that leave me?
I know I need to organize my time better and sort out my priorities and what matters most to me. But I do know that I need to make more time for friends.
Adulting is no easy task. You hardly see your friends because of work or other activities. Things you used to do when you were younger are abandoned. Life gets in the way. But if your friends understand, then you'll have no problem at all. Lucky for me, she understands. And I'm thankful for that.
I still feel bad but I've decided to clear my schedule to go out with her more often. Until then, ciao.
Do you guys have this problem? What do you do about it? Let me know
x
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