So, 10 years have passed. What has happened throughout the years?
See, here's the thing about being human - we often choose to remember the great and wonderful memories, whereas the dark and scary ones are often left behind. We remember them but we just choose not to talk about it.
To say that nothing much has changed within these 10 years is somewhat true yet untrue. I know. It probably makes no sense, but hear me out.
I am the same in terms of my stamina. In fact, I think my stamina has gotten better over the years. My appearance remains unchanged - some people even think I look better now compared to 5 years ago. I wish I was "the curious case of Benjamin Button" where I get younger every year. But to be honest, I do not care much about how "young" I look because age is just a number. You're capable of anything and everything, so don't ever let age be a factor as to why you cannot do the things you want to. Overall, I haven't changed much outside.
But inside, I've grown so much.
My thinking have changed so much even from last year. Sometimes, I feel like I'm a whole different person from 10 years ago. I feel like I look the same but someone else has taken over this body and mind. There are of course, some things I'd wish I'd tell my younger self, some things I'd wish I'd never done/thought, things I'd wish I'd done differently.
A couple of weeks ago, I was given a very useful piece of advice. One that I would carry until my last breath.
"The only person you should be comparing yourself to is the you 10 years ago"
Hence, this post.
10 years have passed. So many things have happened.
- I've graduated from university with a masters degree - something I never ever thought would happen. My dreams 10 years ago are somewhat different. I thought I would marry and settle down at 25. I thought I would have my own house by 26. I never thought I would spend 5 years abroad - best 5 years of my carefree life. I will never forget that part of my life - the friends, the experience, the culture.
-When I was 20, I thought I was an adult and that I know almost everything. Today, at 27, I can safely say that I'm still learning the process of being an adult. I'm learning every single day. How I think and how I do things have definitely changed. I like how I am now but of course, like everyone and anyone else, I would like to be better for my future self.
- However, my dreams and I are somewhat same from 10 years ago in a sense that I've always wanted to entertain people. Even if that means making myself look stupid to make people laugh or smile. When I was younger, I've always wanted to be an actress. I think that dream started when I was in primary school when Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone came out. A little later on, I wanted to be a writer after reading more books. I was/am always fascinated by writings and words because no two people will ever imagine things exactly the same way when it comes to books.
Here I am, 10 years later.
A radio announcer, a part time writer, a part time entertainer (if that's what you want to call it)
I wouldn't say I was born into this path but it's always something I've wanted since I could think for myself. To think what, who and where I'll be in the next 10 years is scary. So all I can do now is ask 17-year-old me how I feel. Here it is:
1) I'm proud of who and what you've become. You are still stubborn at times but at least you listen to people now and you don't think you're all that. I'm happy you've found joy in listening to people's stories even if it's fabricated.
2) I'm proud of how brave you've become. You've always hated presentations and you were always shy when it comes to talking in front of crowds but look where you are now! I know you will be braver in the future but you've done well.
3) I'm happy that you still keep your values and stand up for what you believe in. I'm happy that you're in a good place with your family. I'm happy that you're not the type of person who would abandon your family just because you need to hustle and make money. I know you've tried your hardest, so well done.
4) I'm proud of you for overcoming your fear of being lonely. You've been through a lot these 10 years - starting your life from scratch twice, especially these 2 years. You didn't have any friends to rely on but you fought and you're still fighting for yourself. It's OK to ask for help sometimes but I can't believe you've dealt with your pain and sufferings alone. For that, you need to give yourself a pat on the back.
5) I'm glad that you still keep the child-like side of you alive. Please always keep that up.
You've grown. I know you'll always try to be better and try your hardest to help people, so I'll see you in 2028. Make me proud! :) x
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